A frequent question that I hear from new clients is "My (Aunt Betty) had a massage, and she was so sore she could hardly move the next day. Will I be sore, too?"
We have all heard horror stories about the therapist who had bone-crushing pressure and didn't listen when asked to back off. I've heard another client of mine tell me that when she asked her (previous) therapist to lighten up, the response was "I'm not using a lot of pressure, and it has to hurt to work."
I'm hear to tell you that this is NOT the case - and that massage can be very effective when applied with moderate pressure. It takes intuition, experience and time to learn just how much pressure the tissue (and a client) can take, and this amount of time varies from therapist to therapist. I'd also like to add that your massage therapist should never brush off indications of pain - as a massage therapist myself I wouldn't go to someone else who seemed to have no regard for my pain tolerance.
Does Massage Therapy "have" to hurt?
Let me put it this way - it is normal, especially if you've never had a therapeutic massage before, for muscles to feel a little stiff or sore after a treatment. I think of it much the same as working out, after all, muscle tissue is being manipulated and worked, so a little discomfort is not unusual. If a person has never been to the gym before, it is not a good idea to ask him or her to leg press 100lbs, any more than it is wise for a massage therapist to put all of his or her weight behind their elbow as they perform muscle stripping on the back of a new client. Either way you look at it, if you've never had a treatment before, you have NO idea how your body will react or how much pressure is "enough", and the therapist really has NO idea what "deep" means to a client. Depth of pressure is very subjective, and pain is a subjective response - what hurts to client A might feel great to client B - there is just no way to tell.
It didn't take me long to learn that the size of the client has absolutely no bearing on how much pressure he or she can take. I have been able to use deep pressure effectively and painlessly with some very small women, and much less pressure with some very muscular and burly men. My approach is now this - when I first start treating a new client, I use broad, firm pressure, and resist the urge to "go deeper" even at their request. What I tell them before they get on the table is that the first treatment I will be very moderate because I'm not sure of how they will react - they may feel great in the days following the treatment, in which case next time I will go deeper. (here's a question to consider - does the saying "the customer is always right" apply in this scenario?) If my client feels not so great in the days following a treatment, then I know I need to do something different and will adapt subsequent treatments to suit my client.
In a nutshell, what I would tell a client is that while some discomfort is normal, your request to a therapist to lessen the pressure should never be ignored or brushed off. You are paying for a treatment, and you always have the right to stop or modify what is happening (an FYI in case your therapist doesn't tell you this.) If you are a therapist, especially a new one, take the time to listen to your client and his or her muscle tissue - not everyone is created the same, and it does take time to learn how much is "enough". Also, be sure to advise your client of any possible side effects or risks associated with the treatment (informed verbal consent), and let him or her decide what is right for their body.
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